Stay At Home Moms Are The Real Bosses!

 

What is the Stay At Home Woman's Worth?? First of all let me say that we will never truly know the correct, respectful, and accurate value of what a stay at home mom is worth.  The job is literally 24/7 and every day is different.  We are usually thrust into new job titles at the wink of an eye.  Google and WebMD are our best friends.  Our day starts as early as 5am and we don't usually get to bed until close to midnight.  If you're the active stay at home mom, your day is full of obligations from keeping the house tidy to cooking balanced meals. You're the chauffeur and responsible for overseeing school work along with sports and other extracurricular obligations.  I don't know how I would survive without my calendar on my phone to schedule reminders and alerts.  I have notebooks for everything and on my really busy days I have to have a to do list to scratch things off as I go.  When you have multiple people that depend on you to make sure that they are taken care of and have the things they need, it shouldn't be taken lightly.  It's a real job that requires patience, energy and sometimes training to make sure that things are done correctly.

Training for most of us starts during our childhood.  As our parents completed tasks, they would show us how to do them as well.   When you're young you don't understand the importance of learning those tasks and a lot of the time you resist because it's not fun or you're just not interested.  You also learn just by watching what your parents do daily.  You understand what is required as an adult and what you can aspire to be as you grow older.  The African proverb that states it takes a village, meaning it takes a village to raise a child is one of my favorite sayings!  As aunts, uncles, neighbors, siblings, etc.  we all have a responsibility to our youth to set a good example and each one of us teach someone a skill or lesson that will serve them well as adults.  The load can be overbearing at times for parents.  It helps to be able to call on a family member or friend to help.  It's even more helpful when that person's morals, values and teachings are right in line with your own.  Having a support system that can pick up where you leave off and mirror the influence you have on your children is a true gift!

All the training in the world could not prepare you for parenthood.  There is no right way or wrong way to do it.  Every child is different and we have to customize our parenting to the individual wants and needs of that child.  That could mean that you have to regroup at the start of each engagement with your kids.  One child may be in a wonderful mood while the other is having bad day and is irritable.  That means that you shift from laughing and playing with one child to immediately consoling and counseling the other.  Then after a long day of juggling mood swings, cleaning, teaching, entertaining and cooking you still have the beautiful obligation of spending quality time with your spouse.  They didn't see or know what went on that day so they're excited to come home and see everyone and unwind with the love of their life and you could be passed out on the sofa or so stressed out that you just need some time to yourself.

I don't know about you but the one thing I DON'T want to hear come out of my spouse's mouth as they enter our home is, "So, What did you do all day?" Preferably what I'd like to hear is something like, "How was your day?" or " Hello beautiful! How was your day?"  Asking what a stay at home parent has done all day insinuates that you don't understand their daily task or even more irritating that you can't see that they've done anything that day. I don't think a person that's never been a stay at home parent can truly appreciate what it takes.  I don't think we are truly appreciated or respected for our true worth.  I put an illustration together to give somewhat of an idea of what it would cost to hire someone to do all the things we do at home for free.  It's not that I feel these things are burdens or that I don't find joy in doing them.  It's simply that I like to look at the numbers and show just how amazingly undervalued a stay at home parent is.  If you do all these things and you have a full time job you're an entirely different level of super hero and should be awarded as such!

 

Granted, these numbers that I pulled from Ziprecruiter.com are based on the weekly averages of what a person would bring home after doing each of them full time every day.  Even if a stay at home parent is paid a tenth of that $4,856, that would still mean that they would get paid a $485 weekly rate. 

There is no job in this world that is more rewarding than being a stay at home parent.  Being able to personally care for your kids and be available when they need you is a great feeling.  Don't short change yourself though.  It's easy to get overwhelmed and lose yourself in everyone else's needs.  If you have a choice, before becoming a stay at home parent there are some really important things you should consider.

• Can your family income support you getting a weekly allowance? Because that's mandatory!!!
• Is your spouse willing to assist you with the night routine?
• You need 2 hours of "You" time daily.  They can be combined or split up.
• Are you able to create and manage a daily routine or calendar?
• Do you have access to an outdoor space or park to give the kids some fresh air and exercise?
• Give yourself a girls night out or day out with no kids or spouse to give yourself a break once a week or once every two weeks.
• Start a hobby that you can do at home that keeps your mind fresh doing something you love.
• Make a point to have a date night with your spouse without the kids once a week or two weeks.
• When the kids are old enough give them chores to complete daily.
• Set up a monthly visit or virtual visit with a therapist.  Your mental health while being a stay at home parent is very important!

No matter what you decide to do, from the word go, everyone involved should know and understand how important your position is.  Just like a 9 to 5 with benefits or running a business, stay at home parents are bosses!!  Start each day with a goal and a purpose. Reward yourself and give yourself paid time off.  Sit down with your family and go over this worksheet and list of things to consider so you can Get It Done Boss!